1. Your purse should be able to seriously injure someone.
If only this bag was destined to be used for its most obvious and useful purpose: carrying pizzas.
(Thank Chanel for this one.)
Sort of amazing how the model isn’t tipping over. Maybe the purse is lighter than it looks!
2. Hang on to your Peter Pan collars because they aren’t going anywhere.
Next spring, they come in quilted! Also, perforated white jumpsuits are in?
3. Look like a fence.
Pick a cheerful color, please.
4. Jean skirts worn backwards at the armpits are the new tube dresses!
I never make anything and I feel like I could DIY this.
6. Have a party on your arm.
Stacked bracelets are sticking around. Thank you, Pinterest!
7. Shoes are the new tights.
Insane as it may be, this is a pretty amazing outfit.
(By Alexander McQueen.)
Isn’t it funny that this is by one of Kate Middleton’s favorite designers? If only…
8. Store glitter in your clear heels.
Great for DIY projects on the go.
9. YELLOW is also not going anywhere.
Just wear a whole hell of a lot of it. Like you’re the SUN.
10. Instead of wearing a blouse, sew a sleeve to your bedsheet.
Enjoy, throughout the day, that strange feeling of passing out in your high heels.
11. Get a monochromatic suit.
You know, that looks like something grandmas wear to walk in the mall. This is by Stella McCartney, but I also love how a similar sort of outfit looked on Rihanna in red.
12. Layer your dalmatian-print jumpsuit
It’s hard to tell if this is one piece or two, but it looks like there’s an extra pair of pants poking out the bottom there.
(By Stella McCartney.)
13. Look like an ink spill.
Ink! So retro.
(Stella McCartney, again.)
14. Make a jacket out of gold tin foil.
Jazzes up an otherwise somewhat plain cut.
15. Wear big chokers and back braces together.
But don’t do a opaque shirt — that would just be “too much,” as they say.
16. Tires are the new bandeau tops.
Also, woven belts are in! Who knew?
(By Haider Ackermann, who is a genius. Enjoy the rest of his collection here.)
17. Wear ten tired trends at once.
From Hedi Slimane’s debut collection for Saint Laurent. (Until recently, the label’s name was Yves Saint Laurent. Unclear why they ommitted the “Yves” — but maybe it’s like when people omit vowels from restaurant names [STK, BRGR, etc.] to make them cool.) In this one look you have: peasant blouse, pussy bow, tassel necklace, fringe, maxi skirt, huge hat, a few SIGHS…
18. Match your friend!
No longer is it a faux pas to go around wearing the same-ish thing as the person walking next to you. Because Marc Jacobs said so.
(By Louis Vuitton.)
19. Stop trying to tame windblown hair.
Just let it be CRAZY. You’ll need something in the head region to balance out your polar bear leg-sized shoes.
(Moncler Gamme Rouge.)
20. Snow scenes are in!
What a great update to an old classic.
(Moncer Gamme Rouge, again.)
Get that Moncler coat and lay all of your sweaters that look like this to rest.
21. Instead of a skirt or pants, just wear bike shorts.
Admit it — you never feel like changing after spinning class anyway.
(By His Forbulessness, Tom Ford.)
22. Confuse the hell out of everyone by sticking out your arms.
Those sleeves would be great for hiding snacks. Or cats!
23. Make like a tree.
I don’t know what you wear when you visit Florida, but if it’s not this it’s the wrong thing.
(By Jean Charles de Castelbajac.)
24. Cut the bottoms off your flared pants and tie them to your top.
More fun with sleeves.
25. Instead of opaque bottoms, wear a totally see-through skirt.
Makes up for the lack of cleavage here.
(By Giambattista Valli.)